Russell Crowe The Nice Guys Premiere Cannes Film Festival 2016 The Nice Guys premiere © Joe Alvarez
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Or what do Woody Allen and Chris Brown have in common?

The scandal 

Kate Moss in Cannes Loving Premiere © Joe Alvar
Kate Moss

Film director Woody Allen opened the 69th Cannes Film Festival with his new movie “Cafe Society”, starring Stewart and Jesse Eisenberg.

But before he and film cast had even walked down Cannes’ red carpet, old accusations that he routinely sexually abused his adopted daughter Dylan Farrow resurfaced in a magazine column written by her brother Ronan.

Just to remind readers that Woody Allen was once married to an A-lister Mia Farrow, who happened to love children. So much so that she is known to have adopted more than half a dozen of them. Woody Allen also loves children but in his own bizarre and crippled way – his current wife Soon-Yi Previn was once his own stepdaughter adopted by his now ex-wife Mia Farrow. Alleged sexual assault of his own daughter is just another dirty little secret of Hollywood director that doesn’t appear to have affected his career in any way.

Ava West in Cannes Closing Ceremony © Joe Alvar
Ava West

Back to 69th Cannes Film Festival, French actor Laurent Lafitte made a rape joke at the opening ceremony which many saw as a hint to Allen. The director insisted he was not offended but Lafitte later apologised anyway. Coward.

Outspoken actress Susan Sarandon couldn’t resist a withering judgment when asked by AFP what she thought of Allen later in the week.

“I have nothing good to say about Woody Allen, so I don’t think we should go there,” she said, before repeating the allegations against him, which the director denies and which have never been proved in court. However, his daughter Dylan stands by the accusation.

The fashion statements

Bella Hadid at Cannes Film Festival Opening

After women said they were banished from Cannes’ red carpet last year for failing to wear high heels, Hollywood took revenge in ‘fine style’. Hollywood has earned its bad reputation for turning cultural events into a spectacle of ill-founded crass statements. 

Christin Stewart sported blue sneakers with her Chanel frock, a tell-tale sign of ‘hillbilly’ taste, in addition to her hideous -hair- roots.

Julia Roberts simply went barefoot -despite being driven there- and Charlize Theron skipped the de rigueur evening gown for a Dior tuxedo with a white blouse open to her navel.

Speaking of stepping away from the strict Cannes protocol, Ikon London Magazine Editor In Chief Joe Alvarez was spotted front row pouting during the closing ceremony in the red carpet photographers’ area fully equipped with his RayBans of course. 

Bella Hadid made an amazing entrance to the opening ceremony in a long evening gown by Roberto Cavalli. She was accompanied by the notorious owner of De Grisogono jewellery house Fawaz Gruosi. Known for escorting young pretty talents on the red carpet and groping their waists, one might wonder if Gruosi is so afraid that girls might lose his diamonds or it is rather something else.

Elle Fanning Neon Demon Premiere Cannes © Joe A
Elle Fanning at the Neon Demon film premiere

The new low

Sean Penn’s fifth directorial effort “The Last Face” landed with a historic smash, earning just 0.2 out of four stars in an international critics’ poll by trade magazine Screen International — the worst score in the survey’s 13-year history. 

The film is a love story between aid workers working in West African war zones played by Javier Bardem and Penn’s ex, Charlize Theron. The Hollywood Reporter’s take — “a stunningly self-important but numbingly empty cocktail of romance and insulting refugee porn” — was one of the kinder verdicts. Nevertheless, Penn has enjoyed his minute of fame on the red carpet accompanied by his kids. Theron seemed to have arrived by her own and was quite amiable, she even smooched Penn on the red carpet.

Parties celebrity gossip at the Cannes Film Festival

Kate Moss Cannes Film Festival Loving Premiere ÂThe most talked-about party was, of course, the one hosted by Leo DiCaprio, it even outdid lavish annual AmFar Gala and hedonistic De Grisogono soiree. Di Caprio’s ‘unofficial’ party was buzzing with A-Listers and celebrities. Situated in Antibes – about half an hour by taxi from central Cannes – Leo’s villa promised to be an exclusive event exclusively for celebs but was nonetheless attended by many ‘outsiders’ -party crashers- who were sure enough to spill the beans about private matters of some so-called ‘elite’ guests.

New hot – lukewarm more like – Hollywood couple Leo and Roxy Horner were both in attendance but, alas, playing singletons all night, at least as far as Roxy goes. Leonardo Dicaprio lived to his reputation and seemed to be all over some mysterious stunning blonde.

Nothing new with ‘neanderthal’ convicted women slapper Chris Brown who was also seen at the party. He was spotted bragging about beating up his long-standing best pal Leon Starino after falling out with him. We wonder if Leon has reported a ‘domestic’ in the kitchen. Brown also told a female party guest: ‘Don’t get into my business bitch’ when she asked him a question. Living up to his ‘pure trash’ label. It was a white powder galore night, our source told us.

Speaking of wife-beaters and sex molestations, it looks like both Woody Allen and Chris Brown will forever enjoy bad publicity without any consequences.