Celebrities in London Roundup
Whilst we all seem to be heading to hell in a handcart dear readers, -with triple dip recession throughout europe, in fact most of the world, with all the hunger, torture, kidnappings, wars, cannibalism, ignored slavery, banking crisis, fiat lending & borrowing, Ed Milliband as convincing a Labour leader as a giraffe with sunglasses trying to sneak in a ‘Polar bears only’ dinner party- so we certainly need light relief!
Naomi Watts At the London Premiere of The Impossible
Showbiz land has been so busy on the run up to Christmas dear readers, that at times I have felt as exhausted as a Poundland cashier in Wales. On the A list radar the lovely Naomi Watts was in town a little while ago promoting her new flick The Impossible. No, its not a documentary on getting on the London property ladder, but an account of a family caught, with tens of thousands of strangers, in the mayhem of one of the worst catastrophes of our time. No, not the London riots silly, NATURAL catastrophes, the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Good cast, well acted, but oh, the music!! Awful…Tear jerker piano throughout. The piano keys must’ve melted.
The Miserables Premiere In London
The Miserables -in French: Mesehhhhhhgaaaaaaahblissss- world premiere debuted in London and we had a stellar cast on the red carpet. Anne Hathaway, Hugh Jackman, Amanda Seyfried, Helena Bonham Carter, Sacha Baron Cohen and Russell Crowe.
Anne looked fabulous, the shape of her white dress looked very glamourous but on closer inspection the material itself looked like it was a cut-off from one of my grandma’s blankets. It was figure hugging and at least it wasn’t the dreaded black outfits preferred by many celebs with little insight in red carpet lore. Celebs in bright outfits on the red carpet, will always outsell those on black or grey outfits. No matter WHO it is.
Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfried
It looks great on the front cover of newspapers….In black, you just disappear. Having said that, Amanda Seyfried wore a cool black frock with a quasi flamenco style hem. She looked amazing, but imagine what another colour would’ve done. Russell Crowe, erm, smiled! There’s your newsflash. In all these years in showbiz, I have NEVER seen him smile, the true ‘Miserable’.
Hugh Jackman had no issues smiling and being affable in front of the camera, and, I have to say, Russell didn’t either that night. No I didn’t dream it. Oh yes, the film itself. For the few uninitiated -the stage show has been seen by 60 million people-, Les Misérables is Cameron Mackintosh’s adaptation of Claude-Michel Schönberg and Alain Boublil’s musical based on the Victor Hugo saga set in early 19th century France.
But beware: it’s not strictly a musical -thank god- there’s no dancing, -better still, won’t have to top myself- it’s a more ‘earthy’ version.
Speaking of Les Miserables, actor Gerard Depardieu says adieu to his native country. The 63 year old actor has had a public spat with ‘socialist’ President Francois Hollande over taxes. The lefty President has pressed ahead to impose a 75% taxes on income above 1 million euros. Unbelievable. All to help keep french farmers in full payment for NOT growing crops, and other ridiculous untenable subsidies. Mr Depardieu has put his Parisian abode for sale and has moved a short walk across the border to Nechin, Belgium were they don’t have such castrating taxes. Prime Minister Jean-Marc Ayrault described Depardieu’s behaviour as “pathetic” and unpatriotic at a time when the French are being asked to pay higher taxes to reduce a bloated national debt. “Pathetic, you said pathetic? How pathetic is that?” Depardieu said in a letter to weekly newspaper le Journal du Dimanche. “I am leaving because you believe that success, creation, talent, anything different must be sanctioned. I have paid 145 million euros in taxes since the age of 14” he said. He has even vowed to hand in his passport and will be applying for a Belgian one. I can’t blame him at all.
Update: Socialist French President Francois Hollande suffered a fresh setback on 29 December when his country’s highest court threw out a plan to tax the ultra-wealthy at a 75 per cent rate and said it was unfair.
Egg on face to him. Will Gerard return to France? Gerard Depardieu 1, President Francois Hollande 0.
MOET Independent Film Awards
The MOET Independent Film Awards was a good lavish enjoyable event once again this year. I’ll give you a one letter clue:M. No, not MOET silly, -yes it was- it was Major talent. Cough. Seriously, we did have lots of top British talent -and Jude Law- attending the grand event in Billingsgate sponsored by the cold refreshing uber sparkling mild biscuity scented MOET!
Though I have to say that the previous years we had more known talent. A listers peeps. This year was very thin on the A lister scale with Jude Law scraping in with an A-. Andrea Riseborough won Best Actress as Colette McVeigh for Shadow Dancer. Best Actor gong went to Toby Jones -never heard of him- as Gilderoy for Berberian Sound Studio which also won Best Director with Peter Strickland.
By then the jury were -quite rightly- well tanked up with the effervescent liquid work of art encased in green glass emblazoned with MOET. So much so that -even- Jude Law won the Variety Award. I presume for the number of female ‘partners’. Or male, who knows now a days. Andrea -Riseborough- wore a very nice black frock with plunging neck line which promised a lot but sadly delivered very little -if any- cleavage. The lovely Edith Bowman was in attendance too -she’s not an actress- and what she lacked in plunging neckline she gained in a big tummy.
Yes, she’s expecting. We were all expecting dear readers, better known international talent would’ve helped sell pictures. My vineyard in France isn’t just going to magic itself.
Jude Law, Andrea Riseborough
Edith Bowman
Tom Cruise at The Jack Reacher London Premiere
The venerable Tom Cruise was in town recently promoting his new flick Jack Reacher. The film directed by Christopher McQuarrie tells the story of a homicide investigator who digs deeper into a case involving a trained military sniper who shot five random victims. So the typical Tom Cruise set up.
The London premiere in Leicester Square was the usual freezing affair for the time of year, and despite wearing gloves I will definitely have a shot of brandy before hand in future should the weather not help out. Covering a film premiere dear peeps is a mixture of patience, utter boredom, waiting, hoping the PR’s handle the talent properly and give us enough time, swearing under your breath about the poor Wi-Fi signal -to be able to file pictures straight away- and eventually shooting the celebs in attendance. So its not always drinking champagne and cavorting with scantily clad buxom honeys dear peeps. That’s at the after party! Buddum chiss! Ahem. Some celebrities take ages to show up, and then when they do, pretend they are too-cool-for-school to pose up properly.
Tom Cruise
The London premiere in Leicester Square was the usual freezing affair for the time of year, and despite wearing gloves I will definitely have a shot of brandy before hand in future should the weather not help out. Covering a film premiere dear peeps is a mixture of patience, utter boredom, waiting, hoping the PR’s handle the talent properly and give us enough time, swearing under your breath about the poor Wi-Fi signal -to be able to file pictures straight away- and eventually shooting the celebs in attendance. So its not always drinking champagne and cavorting with scantily clad buxom honeys dear peeps. That’s at the after party! Buddum chiss! Ahem. Some celebrities take ages to show up, and then when they do, pretend they are too-cool-for-school to pose up properly.
Rosamund Pike
They quite rightly get a barrage of well-aimed abuse by some of the waiting media. Tom Cruise has learned a lot -after we once walked out on one of his premieres because we had to wait an hour and a half for him- and now is the perfect celebrity at a premiere. He arrives on time, poses in front of us -press photographers- immediately and takes his time with us.
I respect him loads for that and for being a good actor. Some people don’t like him, -no idea why- but I have met him on numerous occasions worldwide and he has been respectful and polite, asking how I am, how’s my festival going, who’s is town et al.
Co-star Rosamund Pike, looked amazing in a canary yellow frock. Great for pictures. But jeez, she is too skinny! What is all that about. Felt like fetching her some chips. Then I thought…Nah!
The Will.i.am launch party at One Marylebone in London was great fun. Though lacking in big names, it made up in fun. The music was fantastic and sponsored once again by MOET. Duh, I wonder why I stayed. Met with a few friends and media colleagues and we had ladies in tutus serving popcorn, with a variety of canapes served by models. There were also many celeb ‘look-alikes’ who made it kinda fun.
The Double Film Premiere in London
Last film premiere of the year dear readers was The Double starring Richard Gere, Topher Grace, Martin Sheen and my pal Tamer Hassan. The film relates to a retired CIA operative is paired with a young FBI agent to unravel the mystery of a senator’s murder, with all signs pointing to a Soviet assassin.
But what you really want to know peeps is what Jessica Jane Clement looked like in the flesh. Ok so she’s not in the film, and NO ONE really cares what she’s in. They’d rather see her in nothing. Geddit? Suit yourselves, or not. She looked better than on TV. Yes way! The premiere was at the Jack and Jones store in Oxford Street and we had a fantastic complimentary bar and loads of fun.
Jessica Jane Clement
Tamar Hassan, Jessica Jane Clement and Gemma Atkinson
The after party was mad fun and I may tell you in the next issue the shenanigans I had to ‘endure’ so YOU don’t have to. Sacrifices dear readers! That’s what I do for you out of the goodness of my heart, -they won’t let you in any way- and its Christmas! Yes Christmas, NOT season’s greetings whatever that means!
And finally my choice for the Ikon London Magazine Celebrity -Nerd- Moron Of The Year -twas a hard choice, so many entries- is: HUGH GRANT! This foppish two-faced hypocrite is against the press -the people who made him famous, ‘cos talent it wasn’t!- because the media reported all his bizarre, ill mannered, stupid and tasteless antics including paying a street prostitute for a course of fellatio in his car in downtown LA whilst going out with Liz Hurley. He was arrested for it. News gold. He has been attention seeking at the Leveson enquiry as his career has crashed against a mountain. Don’t want to be in the news Hugh, work in a shop or bakery and stop having sex in the street! Your award is well deserved. Keep your nose clean and no one will follow you for a story.
Happy Christmas.
Peace out.
